Don't Bash Twilight
by xRiku.Louisax
Summary: This is what happens when Hitsugaya makes the wrong move and says something rather horrible about Edward Cullen ... No real Pairing - R


**_OMFG! It's been sooo long since I've posted anything on here - I feel sooo ashamed of myself ~goes into Emo Corner and cries~_**

**_But it couldn't be helped, I've had a new Job, and the stress leading up to my GCSE results to worry about, so I'm sure you'll all understand - right? Anyways back to what I was meant to be saying ... actually what was I meant to be saying lol _**

**_Opps I forgot oh well xD on to the Admin_**

**_Anime: Bleach_**

**_Characters: Hitsugaya Toushiro and Matsumoto Rangiku_**

**_Pairings: [there technically isn't one ...]_**

**_Words: 968_**

**_Disclaimer - I don't own Bleach, cause If I did, Aizen would already be Dead, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow and Gin would still be Alive and Hitsugaya and Matsumoto would already be together by now =P_**

**_anyways Enjoy~_**

* * *

Don't. Bash. Twilight.

It was a Typical day in the office. Captain Hitsugaya was busying himself with finishing the Paperwork, whilst Matsumoto was procrastinating, and surfing the internet on the new "computers" Ichigo had introduced to the Soul Society.

"Tap Tap Tap Tap"

Hitsugaya Gripped his pen tightly, trying to block out the noise of the Matsumoto's fingers on the keyboard. After a while they stopped, Hitsugaya sighed in relief and got back to his work.

~A Few minutes later~

"Tap Tap Tap Tap"

Hitsugaya Threw his pen down and glared at Matsumoto and if looks could kill then She would have been dead 100 times over by now.

"Matsumoto ... what in God's name are you doing?" Hitsugaya Growled at her

Matsumoto looked up from the screen and smiled cheerfully, "nothing ... I'm just discussing Twilight with some friends ^^"

Hitsugaya mentally slapped himself, how could he be so dense, of course she'd be doing 'That', She's been being doing that for the past week and a half. "Matsumoto How many times must I tell you ... Twilight. Isn't. Literature!"[1]

"Oh course it is Captain, I mean why would anyone read it?" Matsumoto retorted, Hitsugaya grumbled under his breath, he didn't really see what everyone's obsession with Edward Cullen came from, 'I mean come on ... Vampires don't Sparkle, they shrivel up and die .. HELL Vampires Don't even Exist! and as for werewolves Pfft don't get me started on that "Pretty Boy"'

"Ok, Ok ... So maybe Twilight is actually a book, who actually cares Edward Cullen is a Self-centred idiot, and not to mention a Paedophile, Seriously Matsumoto, he's what 107?, and he's dating a 16-17 year old? He also breaks into her House and watches her Sleep, that screams Paedophile to me. And it's not as if he actually cares whether or not Bella gets turned into one of 'them'" Hitsugaya replied using Air Quotations when he said 'Them'.

Matsumoto thought about this for a moment then nodded her head in agreement "hmmm I must admit I never really liked Robert Patterson - The Guy who Plays Edward - but ... I do Like Embry ... that really cute Werewolf who's best friends with Jacob~ I would do anything to get my hands on him ^.^" Matsumoto stared off into the distance, drooling at the thought of all the things she'd do to him [A/N: Slightly scared by that lol]

Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched slightly as he repeatedly snapped his fingers in front of his subordinate. After a while Hitsugaya gave up trying to get Matsumoto out of her Day-dream state, and sat back down at his desk, At least he had got that excessive Tapping to stop. Hitsugaya sighed wearily, then returned to his work. Only to be interrupted … AGAIN, By 4 … horrible … little … sounds

"Tap … Tap … Tap … Tap …"Hitsugaya Growled in frustration, then slammed his hands down on the desk as he rose from his chair, glaring at Matsumoto.

"Matsumoto Rangiku, I swear if you don't get your bony ass off that Computer and do some Work! I will personally go to the Real World and Destroy EVERY SINGLE COPY of the WHOLE Twilight Saga, then 'accidentally' stage your Beloved 'Embry's' Death!" Hitsugaya growled through gritted teeth.

Matsumoto had a look of pure shock on her face, which soon turned to anger and hatred for her Captains Cruel words, "Well then Captain, if you did that, NOT Only would you have me Making your Life living Hell, but you would also have the Millions of Fan-Girls turning up on your doorstep armed with, Knifes, Paintball Guns, Rope, Gags, You name it … they'll have it, and I won't be around to help you get away, because I would be on the one Leading them!" She all but screamed at him.

Hitsugaya cowered away slightly, there was nothing worse that a extremely pissed Lieutenant, especially one with access to an Army of Fan-Girls, *Shudders at the memory of Hisagi getting swarmed by Angry Fan-Girls*

"Um .. Ok then .. But Matsumoto you clearly seem to forget I am a Captain-Class Shinigami, and I'm sure many of my Fellow Captains will back me up in something like this, NOW GET TO WORK!" Hitsugaya stared into this Lieutenant Icy-Blue Orbs, willing her to see sense and get to work - Pfft As if, It would be the turn of the century before that happened.

Matsumoto glanced away from his Teal Orbs, and sighed. She knew that there was no winning against him, she quickly said her good byes in the form of "My Boss is being a complete Meanie, We'll talk later when it doesn't feel as if I'm sat in a freezer =)" then turned off the computer.

Matsumoto pushed herself away from her desk then flounced over to her Captains Desk, and sat on the edge of it, Hitsugaya looked at her slightly worried yet confused. "Yes Matsumoto? Can I help you?""Yes you can Captain, I just want to tell you something really important" Matsumoto lent down so that she could whisper in his ear, "If you ever Mock my friends, Favourite Character or even the book, I will not hesitate to set my Fan-girl Army on you .. Are we Clear?"

Hitsugaya paled visibly, and gulped loudly, "Uh .. Yes Matsumoto, I-I won't d-do it again .."Matsumoto smiled brightly then jumped down from his Desk, and all-but-ran to the door, "Glad to hear it Captain, have fun with the Paperwork" Then turned and ran out of the Office, with a resounding Scream of "MATSUMOTO" that echoed throughout the squad. And this is why you Never. EVER. Bash Twilight, in front of it's biggest Fan ..

* * *

_[1] - I actually got this Quote from a mini series on Youtube called Demyx Time [Demyx Time 12 to be exact lol], I do recommend it, you'll laugh so hard, trust me!_

**_Ok so I know it's not really one of my Better stories, but it's still a Story, so Reviews would be nice, especially ones on how I can improve it, those are always welcomed, with open arms, because they help me grow as a writer ^.^_**

**_Anyways Review or you shall have no More HitsuMatsu Goodness~_**

**_-Rowann Redfern-_**


End file.
